I am Happy

I think it is a fact of life that there are times in your life which are happier, and times which are less so. In the past year I’ve worked quite hard at recognising the times when I am not so happy, when I’m struggling, and really working to keep myself as upbeat as possible.

But after the post I wrote yesterday, I got to thinking about how it’s not just admitting that you’re feeling down that can be difficult. I’m guessing it’s not just me who gets so caught up in the business of life that I rarely stop and think ‘I am happy right now’. Not just in an immediate, ‘this is enjoyable’ kind of way, but that my base mood for a prolonged period has been happiness. I’m guessing I’m also not alone in that this is not always the case, but right now it is. Recently I have been happy. And this has allowed me to get through my exams with no more than the expected amount of stress. It’s allowed me to try new things, set myself goals, and be pleased when they’re successful, and not be too disappointed by failures. It’s allowed me to meet new people and enjoy close friendships  It’s allowed me to enjoy the beautiful weather, and time off from exams and university. It’s allowing me to go through things that I often find difficult and emotional; I’m still getting emotional, but it’s manageable. And yet it was only when I had to stop and think about it that I realised just how happy I have been, and how lucky I am to be this happy. I know it’s not going to last forever, but I also know that it will come back. But I decided I needed to write it down, to properly acknowledge how well I’m doing, so that next time I feel like I’ve been constantly unhappy since 2013, I’ll have proof that that isn’t true.

There are times when even being slightly happy is a real struggle. There are also times when it sneaks up on you, and you might not even notice it until it’s gone again. But whether you achieve happiness with effort or unconsciously, it is always worth stopping to appreciate how amazing it is.

I really think people should take more notice of their emotional wellbeing, so I advise you to just stop and think this evening. Think about what your basic mood has been for the past month or so. If you are happy then that is great. Remember the feeling, savour it. Think about why you are so happy, and appreciate and hold on to those things. If you are not happy, then think about why that is. What could you do to improve your happiness? Can you get help from somewhere, or is it something you can work on alone? (A bit conceited I know, but maybe check out more of my blogs in the ‘happiness’ category). However you’re feeling, you might also like to get a notebook and write it down,or leave a comment here, so you can look back in a few months time and see whether things are different. Knowing why you are/n’t happy now could help you be happy in the future.

In todays world, happiness and emotions can often be forgotten about; not as important as careers, busy lives, social media, etc. But I really believe that happiness is one of the greatest things in life, and it deserves work and appreciation.

Well Done

A few days ago Dodie Clark (Doddleoddle) and Carrie Hope Fletcher (It’sWayPastMyBedtime), who are two of my absolute favourite YouTubers, made a video of a song called Gold Star For Me. If you haven’t watched this already then you really should, I’ve put a link to it here.

One of the presents in my Christmas Stocking this year was a sheet of shiny, sparkly, smiley face stickers. This is not something I would have thought to want, but it seems my Mum knows me, as they are actually pretty cool.

I’ve mentioned that recently I haven’t been as happy as I would like to be, and when you feel like this the simplest tasks can sometimes begin to seem impossible. I know this happens to lots of people, whether you’re suffering from a mental illness (or physical, but no one tends to question it then), or just going through a bit of a hard time. It’s very easy to expect too much of yourself, or punish yourself for not getting enough done, but that will only make you feel worse. The song I mentioned is all about rewarding yourself for everyday victories, and giving yourself the recognition for the little things you do well. And that’s what I’m trying to do. I’ve blu-tacked (shhh, don’t tell the warden) a sheet of paper to  my wall just above the desk, where I spend most my time, and when I feel low I’m going to draw or write or stick something on it, like rewards you get in primary school, as motivation to do something, however small.

And actually, when you’re feeling bad, little tiny productive things are probably the most important. Yes, self care things like duvets, chocolate, baths, books, are all very good. But it’s often more helpful to make a meal, doesn’t have to fancy, just more than a piece of toast, or pick some dirty clothes off your floor, or change your bed, or do the washing up as soon as you eat so it doesn’t build up. These will make your life slightly more comfortable, and you can be proud of yourself for doing something. Even if all you do is get up and make your bed, only to collapse right back onto it, you have achieved something.

Another thing which I find always helps is going outside. You don’t  have to go anywhere, just get some fresh air. I try to go outside everyday, but I often don’t manage it, especially at uni when I don’t have a proper window and it’s a long corridor and many flights of stairs just to get to a car park surrounded by buildings, very different to my home with open fields just behind. But going days at a time without seeing the sun or getting fresh air can only make things worse, so tomorrow I will make sure I leave the building.

Obviously the ultimate aim is always to be able to function easily on a day to day basis, it’s ok to take things one step at a time, and sometimes lose any progress you have made. Because every day that you do one little thing well is a day well spent. So whatever you have done today, well done

 

Using My Self-Care Box #3

Why I’m sad: I’m not sad today. In fact I’ve been pretty good. But I realised/remembered that self-care isn’t actually just about cheering yourself up when you feel sad, but stopping yourself from getting down in the first place, so I wanted to put a bit of work into that.
What I’ve got out the box: Bubbles, as ever are a wonderful thing. I also had a look at some of the little random things in there, smiling at the memories they hold, and I had a look through my 100HappyDays book. It was great to look at those photos again, and interesting the way my feelings about some of them had changed in different ways because of things that have happened since. But I can also remember how they made me feel at the time. Finally I picked another random quite and got ‘Bless this day, and sing, and pray, we’ll take this day, for always’. This is part of a song and I think it is a beautiful sentiment, and perfect for an ordinary day which is nothing special, but not bad, and it is special because it’s the only time you’ll ever live it. Over the summer I did actually have a whole post-in-waiting about this song, so maybe I’ll get round to that at some point.
What else is cheering me up: Today is the Birthday of a girl who’s in a lot of my classes, and one of the boys had baked her a deliciously gooey, chocolatey cake, which a group of us sat and ate in a gap between classes. That was nice because, well, it was cake, and it reminded me that I am managing to make friends here. I also had phone conversations with my two best friends (and my old ‘cello teacher who was with one of them at the time) and one of my sisters. It’s always nice to hear them all, and these were all surprise phone calls, which is more exciting than when I ring them.

If you haven’t read my original post about Self-Care Boxes, you can find it here.

Using My Self-Care Box #2

Well, I’d hoped not to have to make another one of these for a while, but…this is hard

Why I’m sad: I just miss everyone so much. It’s the little things that keep reminding me of how things used to be, and I wish I could go back in time but that is obviously impossible. An example of those little things is earlier today when I was on the phone to my dad as he was walking into my old favourite café. I heard the door beeping in a very distinctive way, and it just felt like I should be there.
What I’ve got out the box: The bubbles are working a bit better now the mixture’s settled down, but this called for some Oreo chocolate too. As I was getting it out, one of the quotes came with it, it says ‘Though it seems like it’s pouring again, you don’t get flowers without the rain, look what you’ve done, look how far you have come’ which is a slightly adapted quote from a Scouting for Girls song, and has been a source of inspiration/motivation/strength to me for a long time.
What else is cheering me up: Last night I had a lovely evening, split sort of into three parts, doing things with different people I’ve met in the past two weeks, which was a reminder that I’ve met these people, I’ll get closer to them, I don’t need to feel lonely. In my new room I’m surrounded by photos of my old friends, which is comforting even when it makes me miss them more. And actually, writing these posts when I’m upset cheers me up, I know it’s a bit deep and not as optimistic as I like to be on here, but I find it easier to share my problems with random people who may happen to see it than people I’m actually close to.

I’ll try to be back with some more cheerful things soon, but as always, if you haven’t read my original post about Self-Care Boxes, you can find it here.

Using my Self-Care Box #1

A few weeks ago I wrote about making myself a self-care box for any time I was feeling a bit down (read that post here), and I just thought it might be nice to document when I’m using it, to show how the different things in it can cheer me up, and as a reminder that we all have individual power to replace some of that sadness with happiness.

Why I’m sad: Today I am feeling homesick, I enjoyed Fresher’s Week a lot more than I expected, and really felt like I was settling in at uni. However now the socialising is finished and the workload is taking over. I’ve now been away from everywhere/one/thing I’ve ever known for a week and a half, I’m having to look after myself, find my way around a new city, get used to lectures, keep making friends, sort out all the books and things I need for classes, and all the societies I want to join, and it’s a bit over whelming.
What’s I’ve got out the box: A lot of the things in my box are reminders of my friends and home, so that would make me feel a bit worse. I blew some bubbles which were nice, but I was disappointed to find they’re not very good ones. So instead I’ve got my highland cow to hold.
What else is cheering me up: Today I bought a little cactus. I love having plants in my room but they’re often big and hard to take care of. A lot of students seem to get a cactus because all you need to do it give them a bit of water occasionally. Mine was only £2, it isn’t prickly, and it’s so small and cute and I love it. Haven’t decided on a name for him yet. I’m now sitting in my fluffy teddy-bear dressing gown (with my highland cow of course) and I’m going to find a comedy episode to watch before going to bed.

If you haven’t made a self-care box but would like to, click on the link at the top to find out more about it. In the meantime, have a nice day.

My Self Care Box

Don’tBurstMyBubble recently made a DIY post on making a self-care box. I would highly recommend reading that post here before this one, as she explains much better than me what it is all about.
It is basically a box full of things to cheer you up if/when you need it, and I thought this was an excellent idea. As I have mentioned I will soon be moving away to uni and there are bound to be days when I’m feeling homesick or sad, so I decided to make one to take to uni, as a positive step to ensure that even if I end up with horrible flat-mates and hate my time there, I will still be looked after, so this post is how I have made my own self-care box.

I started off by making my box. I used the box which some mugs I was given from Cath Kidston came in, and covered it with bits of old paper – book pages, sheet music, maps etc.. I had a lot of these left over from my Art work and smaller boxes I’ve done like this before. As you may be able to see, my room gets incredibly messy when I’m doing things like this; I had a tiny space to sit while I was working, but I was pleased with the end result.

Then I filled the box. I took a lot of ideas from Don’t Burst My Bubble, but some of hers I didn’t include because I’ll have my books, DVDs, music, photos etc. separate in my room anyway. I also added some other things that I thought of.

My first priority was to get some nice food into the box. Dairy Milk is a very comforting chocolate, I find, and the added sweetness of the Oreo flavour is sometimes too much, but I think will be perfect in times of need. Jelly Tots just always make me happy – except for some slightly bittersweet Jelly-Tot-related memories. I wanted to also include some Marzipan Ritter Sport Chocolate, but the shop where I buy it was closed.

For quite a while, when I was still waking up from nightmares reasonably often, but felt too old and responsible to wake my parents up, I would make myself feel better by reading Winnie-the-Pooh. I have a really big book of Winnie-the-Pooh which wouldn’t fit in my box, so my Mum has lent me her very old copy, which is a beautiful book.

I obviously had to include the little photo book which I got at the end of my #100HappyDays challenge, nothing like 3 months of happiness in one book to remind you of all the good there is in the world. However i was in two minds about whether I should have this notebook. It’s where I had all my friends write messages when I left High School, and then again when I finished college. I thought that reading it might make me more upset if I was missing my old friends, but having had a look through and remembering all the lovely things people said to me, I’m sure it would cheer me up in the long run.

Then I put in some things to pamper myself; tissues for if I’m crying, a couple of ‘stress relieving’ face-masks, and some spearmint lip balm which is strangely tingly – that always makes me laugh when I use it.

Teddies/soft toys are always good for cheering up, so I put in my little highland cow. I’ve loved highland cows ever since my sister told me I looked like one when my fringe went over my eyes. I then found this in a shop we go to a lot on holiday, but I couldn’t afford it. My other sister bought it for me, and since then I’ve always taken it when I go away places.

These were a bit on the expensive side. They’re sweets made using flower remedies made for stress relief. I’ve only used them on odd occasions before, so I don’t know how effective they actually are, but I thought it might be worth having some.

As you know I love quotes, so I wrote out some of my favourite happy quotes and lyrics, coloured the scraps of paper in, and folded them all up in the box. I also have this wooded heart saying ‘you’re the best’ which one of my friends gave me for my Birthday a few years ago, and is a nice encouragement.

My sister first made me a chocolate microwave mud-cake last summer. It’s so warm and chocolaty and lovely so I copied out the recipe to go in my box.

This is a genius idea from Don’tBurstMyBubble, bubbles are just great. There was a tub in my sister’s room where I did all my revision, so when I was getting stuck I’d blow bubbles to relax.

Finally I got some little things which are especially meaningful to me. A little green dinosaur pencil topper which my friend found in a classroom in year 11. I found it so cute that I kept borrowing it until I eventually just kept it. A candle given to me by my best friend which I will never burn but it looks and smells nice. A shell, one of hundreds which I’ve collected over the years from holidays, mainly my favourite beach where we go in Scotland. The badge is one of a set which our ‘cello section got made. There were two out of six cellists called Jenny in our orchestra, and we were a very close section. We decided we’d all be called Jenny, then we had special Jenny names. As a group we called ourselves ‘the order of the Jeni’ (Jeni being the plural of Jenny) and we made these badges of our logo. The twenty pence is from a bet that my friend and I have had going on all year about whether he would get an A* in maths. He didn’t, I won, but it’s been the source of much fun and amusement in maths lessons all year. Finally the stone is a Red Jasper, a good luck stone, which the councilor at my High School gives to students who’d had meetings with her when they leave school.

Thank you for reading this rather long post, let me know in the comments what you would put in a self-care box. I really enjoyed making it and would definitely recommend doing one. And just one last thing, while we’re on the topic of Don’tBurstMyBubble, I recently contributed to a post on her blog about things that make people happy. If you haven’t seen it yet, you can read it here.