Be Nice It's Tuesday

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New Year

And so we are at the end of 2015.

This has been a big year for me; I turned 18, did my A-Levels, travelled to places I’d never been before, (half) moved out of my childhood home, and started university. I’ve met some amazing people, but also lost some old relationships.

I can’t say it’s been a bad year, particularly considering years I’ve had in the past, and knowing the horrors that so many people have gone through this year. But I find change very hard, and it hasn’t been the happiest year for me.

I always find New Year hard. Well, when I say always, I mean the past three since my best friend died. I used to always spend New Year with her, so there is a heightened reminder that she’s missing, that it’s almost another anniversary of her death, that I’ve gone another year without her. In a Christmas song, ‘This Time of Year’ by the band Runrig there is a line Sometimes it’s hard to close a door, the future can be cold, another year has turned and you’re not here’ which always hits me quite hard.

But as well as looking back, New Year is a time for looking forward to the years ahead. But I find that hard too, the future terrifies me. I think because I spend so long wishing I could go back in time and relive or change the past, I hate the reminder that that’s not going to happen, time is constantly moving forwards and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that.

Earlier this year I was dreading turning 18 for all the same reasons, turned 18, and I think I said something then which I had to remind myself of yesterday. There are somethings that are going to happen, you can’t do anything about it. So you can either cry and complain and wish as hard as you can that it won’t happen, or you can take the chance to celebrate and party through the pain. And I intend to once again do the latter. I’m being extra cheerful today for my Dad’s birthday, then this evening I will go to the New Years Eve Ceilidh as is my little tradition, see loads of my friends, drink, dance, and have a great time.

It’s a few years since I really made New Years Resolutions. I used to make massive lists each year, mainly things like ‘pass grade _ on my ‘cello’ or ‘settle in well at High School’, then at the end of the year I’d go back and see how well I’d done. This year I am only going to make one, and that is to always work to keep myself happy and enjoy life. I would say to make other people happy as well, but I never stopped trying to do that, the difference is you can’t do it properly unless you are happy yourself.

I wish you all a very happy New Year, I hope everyone has a fun and safe evening – above all I hope that the fears of a New Years Eve terrorist attack prove unfounded – and I hope you can overcome any and all challenges with 2016 throws at you.


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Top 10 Christmas Films

It’s nearly Christmas!!!
One of the many, many great things about Christmas are the films, and now I’m back home with access to our full range of DVDs I need to catch up on watching them all.
So here are my top 10 Christmas films, and why I like them so much.

10. The Holiday
I love Christmas films, I love rom-coms, this isn’t the best example of either, but with the combination, it couldn’t really go wrong.

9,8,7. Elf, The Grinch and Miracle on 34th Street
These are all Christmas classsics that I feel I haven’t watched as much as I should, as we don’t have them on DVD, but they’re all happy, Christmassy, and if they’re there I will gladly watch them.

6. A Christmas Carol
There are so many film adaptations of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (which I have also read), but one of the first DVDs we had was when I was given a cartoon version, starring Michael Gambon and Kate Winslet amoungst others, for Christmas. I remember my Nana hating it for being too different to the book and adding in some mice as main characters, but I loved it and may well still watch it if I have time tomorrow.

5. Nativity
The first Nativity film is great, I love it (even if it is a bit silly and unrealistic). Martin Freeman is great, the music is great. But then they take away Martin Freeman, and the music isn’t as good, so by the third it’s pretty rubbish. But the original is definitely worth a watch.

4. Stardust
Ok, so this isn’t actually a Christmas film, but when I was in year 7 my sister’s friend gave her the DVD for Christmas, so we watched it in the evening the day we broke up for the holidays. It then became a bit of a tradition with my sisters to watch it at the start of the Christmas holiday, and it’s also such an exciting, warm film, it had to be on this list.

3. The Snowman/Father Christmas
I think most people (in the UK) have seen – and probably cried at – Raymond Briggs’ The Snowman, or at least heard the classic song Walking in the Air. Father Christmas is a less well-known short film in the same style, but it’s very cheerful and Christmassy.  In my family we like to watch them on Christmas Eve.

2. The Polar Express
Watching this the other day with some friends who haven’t seen it as many times as I have, I realised there are some flaws to it, but I don’t care. It’s happy, bursting with Christmas feeling and has great music.

1. Love Actually
Hands down the best Christmas film for me. I remember a horrible year or two when my sisters had been allowed to watch this for the first time but I was still too young, and it seemed every time I went into the sitting room over Christmas, my whole family were watching it and I was ordered to leave. But then I got to watch it and fell in love. I have heard many complaints and criticisms about it; some I disagree with, some are fair enough. But nevertheless, it remains one of my all time favourite films.

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Drunken Ramblings – Home again

1:26 am, 19th December, 2015
This is me. This is me staggering up the steep West Yorkshire hills to my village after a night in the pub with my old friends. I would do anything for the three guys I’ve been with tonight, no matter how much they’ve hurt me or let me down in the past. My key fits perfectly into the shape of my keyring, I know every step of the way, even where the street lights are lacking, I feel far more at ease here than I ever will in that southern city. I am drunk so that even the present, this moment, already feels like distant past, and yet I feel safe and happy, for this is my home, this is where I belong, and this is me.